Welcome to my Blog. I am in my early 40s and have been experiencing Derealization and Depersonalization Disorder for most of my life. My intention is to try to bring the mystery out of the darkness of the gray matter in my head to the pages of this blog. I would like to bring understanding to others about this condition. I would like to provide hope to anyone who stumbles upon this page while frantically searching for a reason as to why they are suffering with the weird, terrifying and incessant symptoms that have come to be known by me and others as DP/DR Disorder.
I am still unsure as to whether it is a true disorder or a disease or a syndrome or an alternate way of being in the world. Perhaps, this exercise will not be useless and maybe it will provide understanding.
I will leave it at that for now. Tomorrow, if possible, I will delve more into the basics.
I will just say that there are many days that I feel like I am just a set of eyes looking at a world that is somehow different than it was before. A two dimensional quality sets in as though all that I see and hear becomes like looking at a flat painting, even the sounds become trapped in that 2 dimensional realm. Is it possible for the reader to understand what I write? I fear no, but I hope I can posit enough detail to bring clarity to a mostly impossible feat of explaining these symptoms/experiences.
Two eyes that see as one, all dimension that I remember from yesterday lays flat on the canvas of my reality.
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